Love and Friendship

Has it ever happened with you that the person you like/love doesn't like you back? If it hasn't....then you are missing an important part of life..."rejection". However painfully it seems...it unknowingly teaches you loads of things. I have learned a lot and keep on discovering new things about myself everyday. Actually...we all do that.

People have this pre-conceived notion about "Love = Friendship" after watching lots of Bollywood Movies. I think that Love & Friendship are the base for any relation. "Love" is a very relative term and each one has different views about it. But what I want to showcase is when these two things get mixed.

Love after Friendship-
This is where the term love is friendship comes. You CANNOT love each other if you are NOT friends..! I mean...you can't just see a random stranger and then say that I love him without even knowing him. Friendship slowly blossoms into love...it should be from both ends. Sometimes we know that it is happening...sometimes we don't..!

The other thing that again brings in "rejection" is if it is only from one of the person. This makes the people say that Love and friendship can never go hand in hand and many other things. Actually....both the people involved in this case or not at fault. I mean....you like someone...that someone doesn't like you back. Cannot get simpler than this! But these are some of the things in life....easy to say....hard to follow. But its like....the other person has committed no mistake and somewhere friendship is affected....sometimes till the person moves on....sometimes for ever...

But like all problems....this 'problem' does have a solution. But it differs from situation to situation...so wouldn't go into detail of those.

Friendship after Love-
This is the POST break-up period. You both loved each other. Now either of you don't...or you can't be together...BUT...."we'll just remain good friends" is crap. It never happens. If it was just a fling or not so serious relationship....it is possible. Coming out from a relationship and then being friends....seems difficult. If you both are MATURE enough....it is not a problem....but it rarely happens....those memories start haunting you. That is BAD.

Any solution for this....umm....STOP talking to each other. It will hurt...obviously...but then we humans have a beautiful ability called as "adaptability"......we ADJUST....we have no other option.

Lastly.....I can only say.......all of us run behind things which we don't get....and in that forget to value the things we have.....BUT....if we GET everything that we want...."LIFE" would lose its meaning......

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Straight from MY heart....

Have tried a new style of writing....hope all of you read 'between' the lines and somewhere relate to it.

People I call best friends....likings & priorities changed....creating unsaid distances between us...but still I know...how much each one matters to all of us...no matter what at the end of the day we are there for each other.....then why those distances??......happens with everyone? wanting some relations back in life as they where......NEVER getting everything we want in life....but if we did....wouldn't life lose its meaning?

Perhaps me too young to comment on life and stuff.....Am I too mature for my age?....my ex told me I was too mature....another close friend tells me to stop being immateur...does this happen with everyone??....I keep on telling people there is no such thing as confusion....but can I myself live up to that?

Why is there always a confusion whether I like someone or not....whether its attraction..lust..obsession?? .....But am I the only one who is facing this?...It happens with everyone,right? ....why does naming a relation create distances??...why do we need to be good friends,really good friends,best friends??.....Cant' we be JUST friends?..that word means a lot to all...doesn't it?

But then it strikes me.....I am not going to gain anything in these things...isn't studying for my exams more important than this??....how much ever I portray that not studying isn't affecting me....is it because in today's life that is cooler?.....I don't want to be cool by portraying this...I know my cell distracts me from studies....BUT still why do I check it every now and then while studying??

Why can't I just cut-off from FACEBOOK and my mobile...study?? Away from all these things...new friends...old friends...this group....that group....photos...bulk messaging.....plans getting canceled...last minute plans leading to fun...teasing and stuff....getting invited...getting ditched...back-bitching...GOSSIPING..! And then it suddenly strikes me...at the age of 17 I am having so much fun...when about 40% children of my age are not even getting a proper LIFE.....affection love family are out of question....not even Food shelter clothing & EDUCATION..! But WHAT CAN I DO?? :'( ...how can me enjoying less help them even if I want to???

Well...but...this is Teenage...we have to learn...get ready to face to world...get out from our protective shell....at the same time enjoying life....long talks with friends...helping us to decide wether we like her or not....what we should do etc...finally we decided to move on...this is not just happening.....I'll give you a new one says a close friend....why do you worry??...we get happy...But wait a second....someone just messaged...OHH....its her....ssup??....OMG!! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?? HELP!!! :D :D

Insecurity....never spares anyone!

After having thought on many topics on which I can write...I finally chose this one. "Insecurity".
This word when asked as a question might be the one of those whose answer is always negative.
Example: One friend to another: Are you Feeling insecure? Friend: NO! Why the hell would I feel insecure. Sometimes....it is true indeed, like all other feelings this can be misunderstood as well. But it happens rarely.

As the title says...Insecurity...it ACTUALLY never spares anyone. You can see it right from a baby child of about 1 year who cries when someone goes near his mother to a man of about 50years who might get insecure in a financial difficulty.

Getting insecure is basically losing your confidence when its regarding your work...and getting jealous when its regarding relations. The positive part is that Insecurity never discriminates....be it anyone, one has to face it. Jealousy...Envy....Insecurity are 3 painful things. Somewhat related to each other. They happen in every teenager's life. Be it not getting invited to a certain party OR not looking good as someone else is OR wanting to posses something that you don't have. You can see these qualities everywhere.

Getting insecure out of the limit results in relations getting dirty which may result in ugly fights.
Frustration on that person OR trying to get even closer to that person OR Sulking is what most insecure people do. But getting insecure shows the true feelings of a person. I mean...insecurity is something that can be rarely faked. So when someone somewhere...is getting insecure because of you. You do mean a lot to that thing/person

Lastly...I would say, having learned from my "insecure" experiences...what we can do is treat it just like other feelings such as happiness,love,anger etc. We should just try and NOT cross that LIMIT.

"Categories" of Teen Lovers!

Disclaimer : After reading the following entry you will feel like relating the people mentioned here to some of the people who affect our lives in some or the other way. I just want to say it is "purely intentional."

Attraction towards the opposite sex starts in Teenage and it is fun phase in life! Teasing each other,relationships etc etc.!! Unknowingly these things help us learn a lot & like everything we see different types of Teenage "love". After observing and talking to many of my friends. I have shortlisted about 7 categories of different Teenage 'lovers' Hope you can relate to AT LEAST one of them!

1.Despo Category:
These kind of people are large in numbers once we enter our colleges after 10th. They are "DESPERATE" for a relationship or just want a fling. They just want to show off!! Most of the times, these relations don't last very long..!
2.Break-up....patch up....Break up....patch up...category:
Even I was a part of this category once..! And I agree this is mostly for publicity! :P But...the main problem with these people are they think that ONLY solution after a fight is break-up! So, most of the times it isn't a break-up but just a fight!!
3."Love" does not exist category:
These are very unique! Neither do I understand why are they afraid of saying they are infatuated towards someone at this age nor do I know why can't they accept the simple fact that these things keep on happening in Teenage! I do agree that "love" is a "heavy" word to use in Teenage but..I mean..c'mon yaar..you losing a major part in your teenage
4.BORED! But still in a relationship category:
I have seen numerous examples of these kind of people. It's just that they have been in a relationship for quite a long time now and both of them know that they are "used" to each other. Breaking up with that person will mean starting from a scratch! And who knows whether they will again get the girl/boy they want ! So what these kind do is keep avoiding problems when the only "practical" solution is parting ways!
5.Still waiting for that right one category:
There are a majority of girls in these categories! But the people who are in this category LOVE to flirt! They know that they can keep on saying..I am waiting for that right guy/girl and enjoy life!
6.I-just-want-to-get-PHYSICAL:
These category people are adored by the people who LOVE gossiping! X & Y were sitting hand in hand! She was sitting behind him! They smooched etc etc!! These kind of people just want to DO these things and that's all what matters to them! Guess they don't know where their limits are! ;-)
7.Remaining ones:
The above ones are the prominent categories! Remaining ones include people like self-proclaimed bro-sis category who tell everyone..."NO! Y are u linking me up with her...she is like a sister!!" These kind of people are simple cowards who don't have the bloody guts to say that he/she is my best friend and nothing more! Why to fake relations for that !

Well...I just hope you can relate yourself somewhere! If not...would love to know some new "categories"

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Change - The Essence of Life

After asking lots of people...what should I write....was stuck really! Did think of writing Teenage Relationships Part - 5! But, well...people think it is for publicity! Actually...what people think changes over a period of time and why not..?? There would have been no fun in life without change!

But there is always good change and bad change! Be it in Social Sciences like a revolution which a slow and steady change or in Science where you can see fast change is the states of matter or be it life where you can see people change drastically!

Complicating simple things is never difficult for anyone! So...things like "love" , "change in behavior of people" are NEVER complicated, its the "situation" that makes you think it is complicated.

For example, I believe no human being is innately bad, its just the situation in which he is forces him to take actions which hurt us and make us feel that he is wicked and stuff..!

As for change in behavior of people...it can vary from person to person and again depends on the scenario! But, be it your best friends, family or anyone...people do change! They are human beings after all.!

The quality that we must have is to accept all the "positive" things in the changed person and move on with it. It so happens that the change is too much to handle and things can get ugly and relations can get spoiled!
You can't just get up one day and decide...I am going be like this from today..!! I do agree that we need to change with time but being yourself and getting accepted in the society is the real "happiness" in life than portraying yourself as someone else just for sake of getting accepted!

"Change" also initiates a hunger for Revenge in minds of many people and THAT is going to be my next topic! If you have any small incidents about "Revenge" you can mail it to me at gajoshi@gmail.com Privacy guaranteed.!

P.S - In the last entry I had written about "वाया जाणं"! Thanks a lot for your answers! Indeed helped me a lot! Hope you respond in the same way and share your experiences about taking Revenge! :)